Nothing prepares me for meditation better than chanting, and today I was blessed to be able to chant and meditate with 9 other Siddha Yoga devotees at a private residence (as opposed to a Siddha Yoga center). We chanted Om Bhagawan ([lit., the Lord] One endowed with the six attributes or powers of infinity: spiritual power, righteousness, glory, splendor, knowledge, and renunciation. A term of great honor.) for about 45 minutes then meditated for another 20 minutes or so. According to the Siddha Yoga website,
Meditation is the practice of turning our attention inward. Meditation beckons us to unravel the greatest mystery of life -- that in this human form, we are also divine. When we still the mind in meditation we are drawn, like bees to honey, to the presence of God within. Touching this truth, our restlessness ceases and we are flooded with a sense of our own perfection and divinity.
Even though I've been practicing Siddha Yoga Meditation for nearly 4 years, I still find meditation extremely difficult. I just have a hard time settling down and turning within. My mind chatters ceaselessly. Sometimes what helps me to "get out of my head" is to become completely present, in the moment, aware of everything going on within and without, making no judgment, just perceiving. I did that today while I was meditating and it helped calm my busy mind. I turned my full attention to my environment and heard so many nuanced noises: a car door opening, birds singing, children playing, someone swallowing, an airplane flying by, my stomach growling, the arrhythmic sound of the wall clock, the silence. Then there was input from my tactile sense (the texture of my cushion, the pain in my right foot from sitting cross-legged for too long) and my sense of smell (someone's sickly sweet fragrance). With my eyes closed, being totally mindful of my surroundings, I was able to attain a sense of groundedness and centeredness, however slight. Finally, I was able to begin to turn within. Of course, by then, meditation was over and I was compelled to return to reality, slightly disappointed with my own resistance, but ultimately satisfied with the morning.
I did something when I returned home that I hope will aid me in my Siddha Yoga practices, including meditation. I gathered all my Siddha Yoga things, which had been in disparate places -- books, tapes, meditation music, puja (altar) items, photos, etc. -- and put them on the built-in desk next to my bed, which I cleared of less important things. Now, finally, I have a place where all my spiritual objects are located, a place where I can study, chant, contemplate, and meditate. Why didn't I think of it sooner?
1 comment:
I don't know anything about Siddha yoga meditation and I've never chanted (except once in high school but I was alone, high, and making it up). It might be because Focusing is more mentally active(?), but I was quite interested to realize upon reading your blog that I really don't have a hard time letting the thoughts settle down in order to sit quietly with nothing but my physical/spiritual essence.
I do, however, have a hard time getting my face out of the cookie jar... or ice cream container... or tub of frosting. Frankly, I'm not sure if I'm getting better in the food area or not, but I do know that Focusing (meditating) twice a week feels like sloughing off (ie, not very much) and I virtually never do any other thing in an obsessive/compulsive way.
Am I even binging? Is it simply that something in me is making sure there is no scarcity? I'm really confused about where I am on the un/healthy food continuum. I'm still fat and sometimes my nutrition is grotesque, but in other ways it really does feel much better.
It sure has gotten different. Hope I get to stick around long enough to see how this one turns out.
Post a Comment