packing

Packing to move is a laborious and, often, emotionally draining experience. For me, at least. There's the physical process of schlepping, wrapping, and boxing stuff, which is certainly tiring. Then there's the psychological aspect to packing my belongings, which I think is the most exhausting part of packing. This is so because my goal is not simply to pack what I have, but to leave behind (sell, donate, recycle) that which I don't need and/or love. This, of course, means letting go.

I've packed most of my books now. And my memorabilia, including photo albums and yearbooks. That didn't turn out to be too difficult, emotionally. Especially since I had burned about 3 banker's boxes filled with assorted memorabilia, from my childhood to my mid-thirties, about 5 years ago. Yup, I burned it all. Letters, cards, concert tickets, mementos, etc. But no photos (except for the wedding album from my first marriage, which definitely had to go). Damn, did that feel good. It was like a weight was lifted from me. The weight of years and years of emotions and associations, gone. That paring down has made this packing job easier.

But there's still a lot left to pack that won't be quite as easy. For example, the readers, notebooks, and writings generated from nearly a decade of graduate school, which I just can't seem to let go of. I'm certain I'll never finish the dissertation, nevertheless I cart around all that material wherever I go. I realize that it has almost nothing to do with need (well, maybe, just maybe, I'll teach someday and use them then) and almost everything to do with feelings (guilt mostly).

Funny, while I've been able to rid myself of the majority of my memorabilia over the last few years, I have been less successful at purging any of my own academic work, regardless of how old. (I still have drawings from Kindergarten, for God's sake!) Hmmm. What do you think is a major source of my identity? Looks like I've got some "work" to do around that topic.

At any rate, I think most would probably agree that the process of sorting, purging, organizing, packing, and letting go is challenging, but essential, even if you aren't moving. What do you have most difficulty letting go of?